Now is the time of year when people are already becoming disheartened by the fact their resolutions made only a matter of days ago, seem like a distant memory. Every year brings with it new hopes dreams and promises, yet for most, broken commitments to ourselves are already making us feel like failures. Why haven't we made it to the gym yet? Why is it that I'm already increasing my portion size? Why haven't I got round to updating that c.v.? The list goes on....
There are many reasons why new years resolutions don't work.
1/
You are going it alone. We tend to make resolutions for ourself rather than something two or more of you commit to do. This means we are only accountable for ourself. If we don't do it, who really cares? If we struggle one week, who is there to pick us up and motivate us to continue. If we do well, who notices and allows us the time to reflect and relish in our achievement? Do we even give ourself the time to focus in on what it is we are aiming for? By making a pact with a partner, friend or group of people will give you a much better chance at succeeding.
2/
It wasn't positive or exciting enough to even bother to do. Think about the things people usually commit to do with their new year ; loose weight, drink less, spend less money, stress less. The use of the words 'less' and 'loose' makes us automatically feel like we are giving something up. Which in turn makes it feel like our life is actually going to be worse off, or that the resolution is going to be difficult to achieve. And none of them bring with them an exciting image. We need to turn them around and imagine what it actually means to have achieved these things. So, by loosing weight I am actually gaining energy and self esteem and a new wardrobe and confidence and a healthy glow. By drinking less I am; more in control, experiencing brighter mornings, healthier inside. By spending less I am; growing savings, feeling safe and secure. You see how the wording can affect our emotional attachment to it and in turn our will power to achieve?
3/
You didn't make a plan. A resolution tends to be a bit of a throw away comment, regardless of how strongly you feel about it at the time. If it were anything more than that, you would have written it down (making a contract to yourself), shown it to as many people as you could (making others aware of your commitment) and planned the 'how'. How are you going to make this happen? This is the key to success. Otherwise, a resolution is simply a concept, something you would like but not something you plan to change. In order to make the change, you must make the plan. This should explore new innovative ways for you to move forward in your chosen area. Don't bang out the same few things you know can work. If they haven't in the past, they are unlikely to work for you this time.
4/ You stopped thinking about it. Come April/May, if you haven't been sticking to a plan and reflecting on progress you will likely have forgotten what you were trying to do in the first place. You must keep focussed. By giving yourself time to think about your achievements so far, you are able to remind yourself why you are doing it in the first place. Try to continually conjure up the image of what it will be like once you are there. This should help keep you motivated.
Don't forget, it can be very hard to do this alone. Working with a coach can help you in all the above areas as you have someone you are accountable to, someone you can reflect with and someone to assist you make the plan.
Consider this - have you spent more of your life complaining about what you could and should be and feeling bad about not taking action than the time you have to actually try out and make the changes? Nike is right 'Just Do It'.
