Let the weather be on your side

I find it fascinating and amusing that during certain weathers people can be so miserable. Now, I am not doubting that there are a few people out there who genuinely suffer from S.A.D. - seasonal affective disorder. But the rest of us? We just like a good moan.

I am often faced with gaping mouths and startled expressions when I meet someone amidst a downpour and reply to their 'This weather, aye!' with 'I know, its great isn't it?'. I can hear their minds desperately trying to seek out the 'greatness' in the desperate situation. But it is in fact not a desperate situation at all. Is it? I like to find the positives in all areas of life in order to remain happy and upbeat. The rain to me says; we have fertile grounds to grow an array of food, we are not likely to have huge water shortages, its a great time for jogging and how much fun little children can have in their wellies. We have been blessed with waterproof skin and unless the rain turns into acid, I don't see much of an ordeal.

Billy Connolly once said 'There is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing. So, get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little'.

Brilliant.

Might it in fact be, that we are not angry with the weather itself but angry at ourselves for being unprepared? Would it seem as bad had we packed that brolly? Or had an alternative 'wet weather' activity up our sleeve?

As I lay thinking about my next blog entry, the 'heavens opened' (what a frightening expression for something so harmless). I could have grunted and snorted about the injustice of it all. Instead, I shut my eyes and let the pitter-patter on the window soothe and relax me with its rhythmic sounds. As I sat on the bus on my way to a client, I witnessed two ladies pushing buggies in t shirts getting soaked through but barely able to walk with their laughter at the hilarious scene they found themselves in. I laughed too and then some others on the bus joined me. Me thinking; I wish I was out there with them, the others probably thinking how lucky they were to be dry.

So, stop yourself the next time you're about to complain about the weather. Stomp in those puddles like you don't care, have an electrical storm party and throw leaves into the wind just because you can.

Lighten up folks, it'll do you the world of good.

Book suggestion

Hello!

I was recommended a book on Saturday which I bought today and read in one sitting. It's 'Peaks and Valleys' by Spencer Johnson and is a lovely, inspirational read.

It helps us better understand how to deal with our Valleys and how to appreciate our Peaks. I will do my best to stick to its philosophy which is wonderfully simple yet effective for every situation and scenario.

It is written as a little story which makes an easy read so great for those tedious bus journeys. Put your commute to good use and get this book.

Know your direction

I love this.

'Would you tell me, please, which way i ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to ' said the cat.
'I don't much care where...' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the cat.

Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

New experiences

Have you ever had an evening off where you fancied something other than a night on the sofa watching Eastenders? Maybe you had an entirely free weekend that you wanted to pack full of fun and exciting things? What did you end up doing?

I am all too familiar with the dilemma of doing the same old things time and time again. If it is raining then the list is always shopping or the cinema and as my husband doesn't like the sound of others munching on copious amounts of popcorn, shopping it is. But for those times when it is nearing the end of the month and that is out the question too, racking our brains for new experiences can prove a challenge. This blast of hot weather hasn't helped matters either. We are not used to having the sunshine on our side. What can you do in the sun? Picnic, beach, hillwalk. These are the same three that appear on the short list around the same time of year. I want something new, something different.

For those looking to add new things to their tired lists and tick off the wonderfully amazing things achieved up to this stage, check out http://www.diddit.com


From eating new foods to staying somewhere out of this world, this website will never leave you stuck for ideas.

New experiences keep you mentally active which is always good for the soul.

Running for my life

So, I wake up today feeling a little stiff but with a big smile on my face. I did the Race for Life yesterday. For anyone who hasn't either participated or spectated, it is a wonderful event. It kicks off around 10am with inspirational stories from survivors of different cancers. They each remind you what this event is for and how important all the sponsorship is for research purposes. Then there are clips shown on a huge screen of stories of those who didn't make it. Because everyone is facing the same way, you get the opportunity to read people's dedications pinned to their backs. I run this race for.... and a sea of different names, each a stranger to you yet each poignant in their own right. Everyone is there for the same reason and not many can say they didn't have a lump in their throat at one stage of the morning.

Just before the race began, a giant warm up took place and this really got people siked up to go. Being piped up to the start line felt like being part of something special and when the horn blasted to announce we were off, I was giddy as a kipper.

Myself and my sister were a little way back and so it took us a few minutes to actually get over the start line. We were amidst thousands of ladies all in pink and that alone was incentive to keep jogging as long as I could. Unfortunately, I had thought the race was going around the other direction of Arthurs Seat, this was what I had practiced, so was really concerned when everyone ran in the other direction. That meant the steep bit of hill to begin. It was a gentle running pace though as there were just so many people. And quite quickly people began slowing down and walking. I kept going with my sister saying constantly 'we're nearly there' 'you've nearly made it to the top'. And I did make it to the top without stopping. I was so red and so hot but I had never imagined being able to do it. So, only another 4km to go. Back on the flat I had the chance to catch my breath again and was pleased about overtaking a good few people. Not that I was trying to get a good time - I don't even know what a good time is. I just wanted to jog all the way if I could. A couple of moments around the top just caught me out and I had to slow it down to catch my breath. My sister was fantastic though, distracting me with stories of things I can't even remember now and telling me to keep going. As soon as we had come to the downhill I knew I had done it. By the finish line I had nothing left in me and my sister tried to make me sprint which I could only do for three seconds. I was exhausted.

That was the biggest achievement for me. I realise it isn't far but for me, who four months ago had never jogged at all, it is huge. I am now planning my next run and racking my brains for something else I can't do that by Christmas I will.

The photo of me shows just how knackered I was at the end and it isn't very flattering but I really don't care a jot as when I look at the picture I think 'you did it, well done you'.

Pre match nerves!

Yes, we have all heard the expression. However, I am not talking about football. I am currently experiencing pre-match nerves for this coming Sunday. This Sunday is Race for Life day. This Sunday is what I have been training for, for the last 12 weeks or so. I am now VERY nervous about this Sunday.

Those of you who religiously follow my blog (thank you!) will know that I signed up for the race for life as a bit of a challenge to myself. I don't do running - or certainly didn't. But it seemed that everyone around me and everyone I spoke to this year was going to complete some kind of race. I, doing what I always do, laughed it off saying that was good for them but I couldn't possibly do it myself. My body isn't built for running. Then I stopped and reminded myself I am a Life Coach and should take some of my own advice. Was it really impossible or was I just talking myself out of it due to fear? Yes, I was definitely fearful. I was currently reading 'Feel the fear and do it Anyway', how apt I thought. So, without further hesitation I signed up. I also pledged this in the article in the Evening News when they interviewed me for 10 questions. There was no way out.

I stuck to the programme in the 'Running made Easy' book. It began with walking three minutes and jogging for one, four times. Even this was a bit of a struggle at the start. I am fit and healthy. I love going to the gym and walking but jogging was a very different discipline. I did this three times a week. It built up every week. Now, I am going out and jogging for half an hour. This is very hard for me and requires a lot of stamina. I am always purple on my return but feel amazing. However, I have never yet been able to jog the full 5k all in one yet. Not only is this a problem but I really struggle on the uphill. Those of you who are familiar with the Race for Life in Edinburgh will know it is up Arthur's Seat. I feel ill just thinking about it.

I am aware that when there is a big crowd I will be more inclined to keep running and that I don't actually have to run all the way round. However, it would be a huge achievement for me if I could. It all seems to have come a round too quickly.

I will let you know how this goes. Meantime, any hints and tips on stamina or jogging uphill would be greatly appreciated.

Watch this space. x

Banishing those wedding blues

Wedding blues? What can you possibly mean, Kelly? Surely getting married is one of the greatest times of your life. How can you be feeling anything but joy over it? If you are asking these questions right now, you are either not married or have long since forgotten the period immediately after your wedding day. It is not the wedding or marriage you are feeling blue about it is the space, the hiatus that happens in the follow weeks.

But why is this and what can you do about it?

Preparing for a wedding can be one of the most intense and stressful periods of someone's life. Trying to cater to everyone's needs, making sure those who need to be involved are and those who shouldn't are not and making hundreds of decisions about things you know nothing about. The longer the engagement the worse it can be as it consumes your every thought for such a large part of your life. Things start getting put off until 'after the wedding'. Hobbies, friends and family can be pushed into the background without you even being aware of it at the time.

I remember thinking I was rather chilled out during our wedding preparations. I probably was in comparison to some and we had a short engagement. But 8 months was long enough for what I could handle. And looking back, I can see that I had turned into someone I barely recognise now. I was snapping at those who care about me most, the wedding was called off at least twice due to stress and we handled some aspects uncharacteristically poorly. This was not the glorious time I first thought. But I had become so used to the way I was during this time that I began to view it as the norm.

I got to the stage where everything I wanted to do was going to happen 'once the wedding was over'. It was as if the wedding had become this dreadful thing that was becoming some kind of hindrance to life itself. I was exhausted and desperate for our honeymoon. However, the first day there, I was left feeling some kind of obscure grief. I didn't want to talk about it as it felt ridiculous. How dare I feel like this when I had just had the most amazing day and was on my honeymoon! But I couldn't shake the feeling no matter what I told myself. It got a little worse as we returned to our flat. I felt agitated, restless... at a loose end. That's when I hit the nail on the head. I had been living this life of 'someone who was getting married' and lost sight of who I was without the wedding. So, inevitably when the wedding was over I was lost. What was I supposed to do with my evenings now? And weekends were empty without the need to go to the venue for those final preparations. What did I used to do?

So, how can this be prevented? I think in the first instance it is important to be aware of this wedding blues notion if you are going through this process. It is very common. Secondly, should you experience it you should be open about it rather than being embarrassed or ashamed of it. There is logic behind what is happening. Finally, if you can take steps throughout the build up to the wedding to make things easier 'at the other side' then do. Try to have evenings with friends where you don't talk about the wedding. Prep them beforehand as they will ask otherwise. This way the conversation can be about your other friends and you can keep on track with their lives. A major factor in the aftermath of a wedding is the realisation you have no idea what your friends are up to and what their concerns are. It can then feel awkward getting involved as you don't want to portray the 'now my wedding is over we can be mates again'. Make sure you continue at least one of your hobbies or interests. This can be difficult as planning a wedding is time consuming. However, the big problem with stopping everything is getting started again. We all know its easy to get to the gym when we're already going twice a week but once a week or two has gone by without going, it gets harder to muster up the motivation. Try to continue having dates with your husband/wife to be that don't involve wedding stuff. Otherwise you will have this sense that your relationship has changed. You may panic about things not being fun anymore. So, keep things fun by going somewhere new or doing something different. Keep it fresh.

And try to enjoy the process as much as you can. Assign someone you trust to keep you grounded. Make a contract with them that allows them to tell you how you are truly behaving. They should help you become aware if the stress is overpowering the pleasure and it is their responsibility to remind you why you are doing what you are doing. Put messages around your house that make you smile and remind you how excited you are about your wedding as well as reminders of who you are without the wedding.

Think of another project to get your teeth stuck into once the big day is done. Preparing for a wedding is a huge project. I knew nothing about how to plan for one so most of my time was poured into researching what I needed to consider, who I needed to contact and when. It is a massive learning curve and takes up lots of energy. So, it is vital that the energy created is transferred to the next big thing. It can be anything from learning a new language to making a business plan. Be creative. It needs to be something that excites you as much as the wedding day did when you got engaged.

Take care of yourself during this time and make sure you are aware of these issues if you have people around you going through this process. Be sensitive to their needs and help them/yourself begin your marriage with a positive mental attitude.

Being married is amazing, lets keep it that way!