Run for your life

I have recently completed my first 10k race in Stornoway. This was a massive personal achievement for me.
I remember all too well two years ago when I was training for my first 5k, unable to imagine running for a whole thirty minutes. Once I had completed that, people quite rightly asked 'when are you doing a 10k?'. Again, my thoughts turned to negativity 'I can't imagine running for an hour'. During training for this, I realised I was getting closer to this target and flipped my thinking to 'imagine crossing that finish line'. Now that I have done this, I am now thinking about my next race. Although I am not yet signing up to a half marathon, I am NOT ruling it out. I have learned (or relearned) that you can push your body and moving the goal posts is an essential part of succeeding in life.

Make time, make the call, make a difference

I communicate very much how most people in this day and age do; email, text and facebook. In doing this, I often forget when the last time I actually spoke to someone was. It feels as though I am in constant contact with friends and family. Yet, if I sit down and think about when I last heard their voice, it becomes obvious I don't call people as much as I once did or as much as I may like. People may say that modern technology makes it easier to keep in touch with the ever increasing bank of people they meet. This may be so and although we perhaps know roughly what is going on in someone's life through 'tweets' or 'updates' we miss out on the personal connection that is made with face to face or telephone contact.

I think we also need to consider our thoughts about calling friends and family. I often challenge clients who use phrases such as 'I must get in touch with...' and 'I HAVE to meet up with...'. I ask them if they would be bothered if they never made the call or hooked up for lunch. Generally, when the thought process is unfolded, the negativity disappears. Clients realise that they do want to make the call and they enjoy spending time with the people they are putting off on. I'm not saying this is the case for every meeting but question yourself the next time you moan about ringing a friend for a chat or complain about having family round for dinner. Also, check in with yourself about how you are feeling after the contact is made. This is an important reflection which can change the way you think about the situation the next time.

These thoughts came about for me when I made the decision this week to speak to a number of people by phone. The best call was to a family member who was feeling low at the time. I didn't know she had been on her own for a few days. In fact, there were quite a few things I didn't know about her as it had been so long since I had last rang. Hearing my voice picked her mood right up and she finished the call saying 'you really made my day'. That felt really good. I then went on to ring around a number of other people I hadn't spoken to in a long time. By the end I was energised and geared up for several meetings with them in the near future.

So, put some quality time aside. Set up a night or two at the start of the week where you know you will phone around all the people you want to catch up with. Our lives appear busier these days and often we try to talk with people whilst carrying out another activity; making dinner, watching telly, checking email etc. Imagine how differently our conversations can be if we are giving our undivided attention to the other person.

Make lasting changes this new year.

Now is the time of year when people are already becoming disheartened by the fact their resolutions made only a matter of days ago, seem like a distant memory. Every year brings with it new hopes dreams and promises, yet for most, broken commitments to ourselves are already making us feel like failures. Why haven't we made it to the gym yet? Why is it that I'm already increasing my portion size? Why haven't I got round to updating that c.v.? The list goes on....
There are many reasons why new years resolutions don't work.

1/
You are going it alone. We tend to make resolutions for ourself rather than something two or more of you commit to do. This means we are only accountable for ourself. If we don't do it, who really cares? If we struggle one week, who is there to pick us up and motivate us to continue. If we do well, who notices and allows us the time to reflect and relish in our achievement? Do we even give ourself the time to focus in on what it is we are aiming for? By making a pact with a partner, friend or group of people will give you a much better chance at succeeding.

2/
It wasn't positive or exciting enough to even bother to do. Think about the things people usually commit to do with their new year ; loose weight, drink less, spend less money, stress less. The use of the words 'less' and 'loose' makes us automatically feel like we are giving something up. Which in turn makes it feel like our life is actually going to be worse off, or that the resolution is going to be difficult to achieve. And none of them bring with them an exciting image. We need to turn them around and imagine what it actually means to have achieved these things. So, by loosing weight I am actually gaining energy and self esteem and a new wardrobe and confidence and a healthy glow. By drinking less I am; more in control, experiencing brighter mornings, healthier inside. By spending less I am; growing savings, feeling safe and secure. You see how the wording can affect our emotional attachment to it and in turn our will power to achieve?

3/
You didn't make a plan. A resolution tends to be a bit of a throw away comment, regardless of how strongly you feel about it at the time. If it were anything more than that, you would have written it down (making a contract to yourself), shown it to as many people as you could (making others aware of your commitment) and planned the 'how'. How are you going to make this happen? This is the key to success. Otherwise, a resolution is simply a concept, something you would like but not something you plan to change. In order to make the change, you must make the plan. This should explore new innovative ways for you to move forward in your chosen area. Don't bang out the same few things you know can work. If they haven't in the past, they are unlikely to work for you this time.

4/ You stopped thinking about it. Come April/May, if you haven't been sticking to a plan and reflecting on progress you will likely have forgotten what you were trying to do in the first place. You must keep focussed. By giving yourself time to think about your achievements so far, you are able to remind yourself why you are doing it in the first place. Try to continually conjure up the image of what it will be like once you are there. This should help keep you motivated.

Don't forget, it can be very hard to do this alone. Working with a coach can help you in all the above areas as you have someone you are accountable to, someone you can reflect with and someone to assist you make the plan.

Consider this - have you spent more of your life complaining about what you could and should be and feeling bad about not taking action than the time you have to actually try out and make the changes? Nike is right 'Just Do It'.

Procrastination

I went for my first run yesterday in several months. I woke at 8am and finally left the house for my 20 minute jog at 10.30am. A full 2 1/2 hours later. In my head, I had to have breakfast first to keep my strength up. I had to wash the dishes and put a wash on (knowing I couldn't possibly leave the house with an electrical item on). So, I had to wait until the machine had finished its cycle. I had to get dressed which took longer than usual as it was my running gear. I had to fit my ipod into its arm band and find the podcast. I thought it best to peel the veg ready to make soup on my return. All this for a 20 minute run!

I'm sure you are reading this and thinking about similar things you procrastinate on.

I then read a small section in Psychologies magazine about ways to stop procrastination and thought I would share:

* Time what you do. Procrastinators very often overestimate how long things take. Therefore, making it easier to make excuses. 'That'll take me 3 hours, I don't have time for that'. Does it REALLY take that long?

* Do the hard/tricky things in 15 minute slots with breaks in between and reward yourself on completion

* Reduce the time between noting when something needs done and you actually doing it. The longer you put it off, the bigger it becomes in your mind.

* Stop waiting for the perfect time to act on something. It doesn't exist.

Some good advice I think.

I just want to leave you with one of my favourite quotes 'Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow'. ~ Gerald Vaughan

Canadian Adventure Film Festival

I am always on the lookout for stories that motivate and inspire me. I think it can be difficult sometimes to feel positive all of the time and to have other people's achievements in the back of your head can help boost your morale when it is otherwise low.

I recently went to see a couple of films as part of the Canadian Adventure Film Festival. My intentions at this time were not to feel uplifted and inspired. I, quite simply, had free tickets and I love a freebie. I am also partial to adventure docu-films. They make me film invigorated.

So, I was delighted to leave the cinema feeling pleased about obtaining a free ticket, invigorated and inspired!

The two films I saw were; The Asgard Project and Madagascar Maverick. I urge you to look them up. They really do make you realise that anything is possible if you want it badly enough.

Enjoy

http://www.adventurefest.co.uk

Is Day Dreaming Good For You?

I am just returning from a fabulous weekend in and around London. It had everything; time with family, time with friends, time with my husband, an anniversary celebration, tourist attractions, many modes of transport, good food, plush drinking establishments, planned things, non-planned things. As I make the journey home, I realise I am both relaxed and bustling from the previous days excitement.

As we sat on the London rush hour bus this morning trying to navigate our way to the train station, my mind wandered as I peered out the crowded window. The sun shone and filtered through the trees looking onto inviting parks. I noticed some bicycles parked outside a large grassy square and one in particular caught my attention. It seemed dreadfully old fashioned with a woven basket on the front. I can’t imagine there were many, if any, gears on the thing.

I began then to drift into a scenario where this bike belonged to me. I imagined getting up on such a sunny morning as this one, throwing my hair back in a bobble and putting on a knee length flowery dress before slipping on some comfy white plimsole style shoes and heading out of my apartment. I would have brought some sandwiches with me to place into the basket when I got to my bike. I imagined no prescribed destination. I would simply get on and start pedalling and see where the mood took me. This would most definitely end up at some fresh food market where I would disembark my bicycle in order to converse with the sellers and fill my basket further with vitamin bursting fruit and veg, picked only hours previous. I would have worked up a bit of an appetite and suddenly remembered my sandwich. I would ride, skirt billowing gently around my knees, to a lush park where I would lye back in the sun and have lunch in my own company. I may even snooze for a bit.

And with a calming smile on my face, I realised it was time to get off the bus. I had clean forgotten about the sweaty commuters, the lack of seats for all the bodies, the spring poking out the base of my chair into my bottom and the slow speed at which the bus had been crawling along at.

For what could have been a semi aggressive, frustrated and lengthy journey ended up in the romance of my imagination. I experienced many of the after effects of a small meditative session.

I realise as I am writing this that I have, in the past, hinted towards using spare time wisely. So, journeys can be used to catch up on all the things you may not have squeezed in at home. However, I really feel there is a time for day dreaming too. So, the next time you’re agitated by a journey you are making for whatever reason, try to drift off into a warming world of old fashioned push bikes!

Lovely Feedback

I have just had some lovely feedback from a client after a very successful coaching journey. I received a beautiful card to thank me for my services. This client had (at the end of the coaching) received a promotion at work.

The feedback said 'I feel like I have a fulfilled life. I am content. I am happy and more aware of myself. I know what I want and I have the balls to go for it.'
Then continued with 'The coaching process was an amazing journey. I have learned so much about myself and discovered things I didn't know or wasn't aware of before. I started coaching at a time when I was really unhappy, most of which came from my job. So, I was looking to find out what types of jobs suit my qualifications and personality. But just after the first few sessions, it turned out not to be about my job, but just about myself and it was great to have someone whose 'duty' it is to listen to you and give constructive criticism and analysis.'

The turnaround with this client was truly amazing and they absolutely threw themselves into the process, committing to change from session 1. This client only had 6 sessions! What an inspiration and well done on your achievements.