Happy New Year

Just wanted to say a Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you are successful in making lasting changes in 2013.

The eyes of a photographer

One morning last week the mist had settled very low across Edinburgh. As I made my way to work, I noticed hundreds of cobwebs twinkling like a magical maze on a hedge I walk by everyday. I could only see them because of the mist and cold weather. It made me smile immediately. Not that I like spiders or their webs but I was able to glimpse at something that had always been there, yet been invisible until now. The weather allowed me that moment and that made me thankful of the icy chill. For the entire day I then listened to people complain about the drop in degrees, moan about having to 'defrost their car' and sigh when thinking about having to head outside. I then drove passed a photographer who clutched his camera with joy at the eeriness of it all. 'What a great picture this will make' I imagined him thinking. Then, I got to thinking about being a photographer and how this surely makes you more positive than most, as any change in weather/light is about an opportunity, some great picture you may be about to capture. Surely if everyone was to try and get in the mindset of a photographer, we would instinctively notice the beauty around us rather than focussing on the negative. My husband then showed me this photo taken on that same day.

I think it highlights how the person who took it was thinking not of the inconvenience of having to hunt for warmer clothes but how cracking the city in which we live looked at that moment in time.

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

I recently ran a workshop on Positive Psychology. This got me scratching my head over what really makes me happy, what makes me smile, when do I laugh out loud? I suggested that the participants make a top 10 list that they can draw upon. And as I try to practice what I preach, here goes... 1/ Most things yellow 2/ Knowing my husband and I can both see the moon when we are apart 3/ Podded peas 4/ My walk to work (complete with ipod and new headphones) 5/ Travel 6/ Dancing in any way shape or form I chose 7/ Seeing someone I love succeed 8/ Hearing my nephews laugh 9/ Duck billed platypus 10/ Writing lists of things that make me happy Write yours now.

Daily question

I have no problem with people letting off steam and having a 'moan' or getting things off their chest. In fact, I would positively encourage it. This is called 'wallowing' in the Shut Up and Move On book - which I would recommend. There is credibility in the statement 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. I often allow my husband to come home from a long day of studying or a night shift at work and talk at me for ten minutes without a breath. I say talk 'at' me rather purposefully. I do not intervene. I do not suggest solutions to the issues he is in need of discussing. I do not 'side' with him and to be honest, I do not even always listen intently. The listening in this instance is not always important. The 'getting it out in the open and making sense of it in my head' is. However, in order to not stay in that place for too long, a time limit should be placed on the wallowing activity. My husband will stop himself after a short fueled stint, sigh and say something like 'sorry, I just needed to unload'.
I would try and follow this 'rant' up with a question such as 'So, tell me one thing that was good about today?'. This then leads onto a conversation which takes a much more positive slant and clears any negativity lurking in the air.

The counteract your excuses approach

So, people often ask me about motivation and how to tackle procrastination. There are many ways but one which has come to light for me personally, very recently, is the 'counteract your excuses' approach.

Let me explain.

I recently joined a gym. This gym is over 4 floors, machines I have never seen, people, sweat, designer clothing, weights, the lot. The night I signed up it was very busy and there were no staff on hand to show me round and set me a programme. i was also with my husband and he wasn't keen to stick around. So, card in in hand - I left without so much as taking my coat off.

I then became aware of using language like 'I may' go to the gym on this day and 'I'll try to get there on.....' Not hugely committed to the cause. So, I decided to take a different approach. I thought about all possible excuses I may use to get me out of using my new gym facilities:
* I may not have time
* I may not feel happy about the clothes I brought
* I may get hungry
* I may be in late
I then decided on solutions to each of the above.
* I checked the time the gym closed so I knew when to leave my work in order to get there on time
* I brought a choice of 2 clothing garments
* i ate before I left
* I told my husband I would be in late as I was going to the gym

This meant, that come the time, I had nothing left in me other than going to gym. Try it, you'll likely frustrate yourself at first for having no wiggle room and then hopefully you'll realise the good you are doing.

Hope in The Help

I saw a preview of The Help at the cinema last night. I had not read the book beforehand and knew very little about what I was going to see.

I would highly recommend this movie as I felt quite moved by it. I won't give away any of it for those, like me, who may know nothing about it.

However, I love to see hope keeping people strong when there is little else to be motivated by and seeking opportunity when there appears to be none.

Go see it!

Have dones and to do's

I always find the month of October a little poignant. It's a time when the nights start getting darker and I always seem to reflect more than other months. I think this is perhaps down to its position within the calendar. It's a time where I feel I should have achieved the majority of my yearly 'to do' list and reaffirm if I am able to complete on those left before the year is over.

So, I would like to share some of my own key achievements as a way of self-coaching and giving myself a public pat on the back which is a great motivational tool and should spur me on to make a start on those activities which have been placed under the bed since January.

1/ I have travelled well this year with visits to Morocco, London, Dublin, THe Highlands, Stornoway, Inveraray and Portugal. Three of which I have never been to before.

2/ I set up a savings account and began paying into it regularly - it's not a big amount but it is a start.

3/ I set up a private pension (something that has been on my mind for years and I've finally nailed!).

4/ I ran a 10k in May - a massive achievement for me.

5/ I have achieved a steady flow of clients

6/ I bought my first piece of art (with husband)

7/ I regularly treat myself with massages, facials, spa days etc. This is one of the few ways I can totally relax so it's really important to me.

8/ I have challenged and changed my thinking about social events and really look forward to each one now rather than my previous negative thinking about how much of my time they were taking up.


If you have let your resolutions slip or if you've simply forgotten what you had planned for this year, take some time now to look back (I had to use my diary) on what you have been up to. It's best to do this with someone so you can share your experiences and praise one another for your efforts.