So, I have just returned from the gym at the time of writing this and as I was pumping iron, or sweating like an idiot, I got to thinking. I realised as I was striding on the cross training that I wasn't having such a lame time after all the huffing and puffing I had done earlier.
About three hours before I go to the gym, and this happens every time, I begin to tell those around me how awful it is that I HAVE to go. Everyone makes all the right noises, sighing with me, giving me the 'how bad it must be for you' face and generally feeling my pain. This throws fuel into the fire and just provides me with more reason to moan – I am getting the reaction I want.
But pounding it out in my trackies I think about how I am feeling now that I have made the short walk across the road from my work and undressed then dressed in the cold tiled dressing room. I am feeling okay. Actually, I am feeling rather good. Yes, I am sweaty and unattractive (I have never been bothered by this). Yes, I am getting progressively more physically tired. But I am rather perversely enjoying myself. I like feeling my blood pumping and my heart pounding. These are signs of health and although I could be fitter, I feel healthy. I have my ipod for great tunes and can destress from the day's work. I don't need to talk to anyone or explain myself. I am happily doing my own thing.
And afterwards? Even better. I feel like I am one step closer to achieving my ultimate fitness. I feel great about my motivation and the fact I forced myself to go to the gym. I feel far hungrier for my dinner and therefore, enjoy my food more. I feel vibrant and full of energy.
So, why is it the very next time I go I will, rather predictably, not look forward to it? It seems crazy when I look at the facts. That is because it IS crazy. If I enjoy it at the time and love the after effects then there is no reason not to be excited beforehand.
But I am living in a society where people don't like going to the gym. There are some people to whom this actually applies and they should find another way to get fit – there are hundreds. I get so swept up in the negative emotions surrounded by the gym and what it stands for that I genuinely believe I hate it. I don't and now that I can see this, I am going to change.
I have coached many clients who have similar feelings about other aspects of their lives. One woman had a huge problem with her time consumption over the weekend. This was mainly due to children's activities, clubs, parties etc. Her weekend was so filled with social events, she hated the thought of it becoming Saturday again. On further exploration, we found that actually, there were very few activities she didn' t like 'in the moment'. She told me she was dreading a meal out because it meant even less time at home. Thinking about what the meal meant, she quickly realised she loved going out for food and always enjoyed the event but was filled with anxiety at the thought. These feelings were not based on any reality. With this in mind she was able to relax and see each activity for what it truly was. She now loves Fridays!
Think about which things stress you out and try to understand why. Are your feelings based on any fact? Or do you usually enjoy the event? Try not to get caught up with how others around you react. Enjoy each part of your life for what it actually is. And if you really don't like it, change it.
