Running for my life

So, I wake up today feeling a little stiff but with a big smile on my face. I did the Race for Life yesterday. For anyone who hasn't either participated or spectated, it is a wonderful event. It kicks off around 10am with inspirational stories from survivors of different cancers. They each remind you what this event is for and how important all the sponsorship is for research purposes. Then there are clips shown on a huge screen of stories of those who didn't make it. Because everyone is facing the same way, you get the opportunity to read people's dedications pinned to their backs. I run this race for.... and a sea of different names, each a stranger to you yet each poignant in their own right. Everyone is there for the same reason and not many can say they didn't have a lump in their throat at one stage of the morning.

Just before the race began, a giant warm up took place and this really got people siked up to go. Being piped up to the start line felt like being part of something special and when the horn blasted to announce we were off, I was giddy as a kipper.

Myself and my sister were a little way back and so it took us a few minutes to actually get over the start line. We were amidst thousands of ladies all in pink and that alone was incentive to keep jogging as long as I could. Unfortunately, I had thought the race was going around the other direction of Arthurs Seat, this was what I had practiced, so was really concerned when everyone ran in the other direction. That meant the steep bit of hill to begin. It was a gentle running pace though as there were just so many people. And quite quickly people began slowing down and walking. I kept going with my sister saying constantly 'we're nearly there' 'you've nearly made it to the top'. And I did make it to the top without stopping. I was so red and so hot but I had never imagined being able to do it. So, only another 4km to go. Back on the flat I had the chance to catch my breath again and was pleased about overtaking a good few people. Not that I was trying to get a good time - I don't even know what a good time is. I just wanted to jog all the way if I could. A couple of moments around the top just caught me out and I had to slow it down to catch my breath. My sister was fantastic though, distracting me with stories of things I can't even remember now and telling me to keep going. As soon as we had come to the downhill I knew I had done it. By the finish line I had nothing left in me and my sister tried to make me sprint which I could only do for three seconds. I was exhausted.

That was the biggest achievement for me. I realise it isn't far but for me, who four months ago had never jogged at all, it is huge. I am now planning my next run and racking my brains for something else I can't do that by Christmas I will.

The photo of me shows just how knackered I was at the end and it isn't very flattering but I really don't care a jot as when I look at the picture I think 'you did it, well done you'.

Pre match nerves!

Yes, we have all heard the expression. However, I am not talking about football. I am currently experiencing pre-match nerves for this coming Sunday. This Sunday is Race for Life day. This Sunday is what I have been training for, for the last 12 weeks or so. I am now VERY nervous about this Sunday.

Those of you who religiously follow my blog (thank you!) will know that I signed up for the race for life as a bit of a challenge to myself. I don't do running - or certainly didn't. But it seemed that everyone around me and everyone I spoke to this year was going to complete some kind of race. I, doing what I always do, laughed it off saying that was good for them but I couldn't possibly do it myself. My body isn't built for running. Then I stopped and reminded myself I am a Life Coach and should take some of my own advice. Was it really impossible or was I just talking myself out of it due to fear? Yes, I was definitely fearful. I was currently reading 'Feel the fear and do it Anyway', how apt I thought. So, without further hesitation I signed up. I also pledged this in the article in the Evening News when they interviewed me for 10 questions. There was no way out.

I stuck to the programme in the 'Running made Easy' book. It began with walking three minutes and jogging for one, four times. Even this was a bit of a struggle at the start. I am fit and healthy. I love going to the gym and walking but jogging was a very different discipline. I did this three times a week. It built up every week. Now, I am going out and jogging for half an hour. This is very hard for me and requires a lot of stamina. I am always purple on my return but feel amazing. However, I have never yet been able to jog the full 5k all in one yet. Not only is this a problem but I really struggle on the uphill. Those of you who are familiar with the Race for Life in Edinburgh will know it is up Arthur's Seat. I feel ill just thinking about it.

I am aware that when there is a big crowd I will be more inclined to keep running and that I don't actually have to run all the way round. However, it would be a huge achievement for me if I could. It all seems to have come a round too quickly.

I will let you know how this goes. Meantime, any hints and tips on stamina or jogging uphill would be greatly appreciated.

Watch this space. x

Banishing those wedding blues

Wedding blues? What can you possibly mean, Kelly? Surely getting married is one of the greatest times of your life. How can you be feeling anything but joy over it? If you are asking these questions right now, you are either not married or have long since forgotten the period immediately after your wedding day. It is not the wedding or marriage you are feeling blue about it is the space, the hiatus that happens in the follow weeks.

But why is this and what can you do about it?

Preparing for a wedding can be one of the most intense and stressful periods of someone's life. Trying to cater to everyone's needs, making sure those who need to be involved are and those who shouldn't are not and making hundreds of decisions about things you know nothing about. The longer the engagement the worse it can be as it consumes your every thought for such a large part of your life. Things start getting put off until 'after the wedding'. Hobbies, friends and family can be pushed into the background without you even being aware of it at the time.

I remember thinking I was rather chilled out during our wedding preparations. I probably was in comparison to some and we had a short engagement. But 8 months was long enough for what I could handle. And looking back, I can see that I had turned into someone I barely recognise now. I was snapping at those who care about me most, the wedding was called off at least twice due to stress and we handled some aspects uncharacteristically poorly. This was not the glorious time I first thought. But I had become so used to the way I was during this time that I began to view it as the norm.

I got to the stage where everything I wanted to do was going to happen 'once the wedding was over'. It was as if the wedding had become this dreadful thing that was becoming some kind of hindrance to life itself. I was exhausted and desperate for our honeymoon. However, the first day there, I was left feeling some kind of obscure grief. I didn't want to talk about it as it felt ridiculous. How dare I feel like this when I had just had the most amazing day and was on my honeymoon! But I couldn't shake the feeling no matter what I told myself. It got a little worse as we returned to our flat. I felt agitated, restless... at a loose end. That's when I hit the nail on the head. I had been living this life of 'someone who was getting married' and lost sight of who I was without the wedding. So, inevitably when the wedding was over I was lost. What was I supposed to do with my evenings now? And weekends were empty without the need to go to the venue for those final preparations. What did I used to do?

So, how can this be prevented? I think in the first instance it is important to be aware of this wedding blues notion if you are going through this process. It is very common. Secondly, should you experience it you should be open about it rather than being embarrassed or ashamed of it. There is logic behind what is happening. Finally, if you can take steps throughout the build up to the wedding to make things easier 'at the other side' then do. Try to have evenings with friends where you don't talk about the wedding. Prep them beforehand as they will ask otherwise. This way the conversation can be about your other friends and you can keep on track with their lives. A major factor in the aftermath of a wedding is the realisation you have no idea what your friends are up to and what their concerns are. It can then feel awkward getting involved as you don't want to portray the 'now my wedding is over we can be mates again'. Make sure you continue at least one of your hobbies or interests. This can be difficult as planning a wedding is time consuming. However, the big problem with stopping everything is getting started again. We all know its easy to get to the gym when we're already going twice a week but once a week or two has gone by without going, it gets harder to muster up the motivation. Try to continue having dates with your husband/wife to be that don't involve wedding stuff. Otherwise you will have this sense that your relationship has changed. You may panic about things not being fun anymore. So, keep things fun by going somewhere new or doing something different. Keep it fresh.

And try to enjoy the process as much as you can. Assign someone you trust to keep you grounded. Make a contract with them that allows them to tell you how you are truly behaving. They should help you become aware if the stress is overpowering the pleasure and it is their responsibility to remind you why you are doing what you are doing. Put messages around your house that make you smile and remind you how excited you are about your wedding as well as reminders of who you are without the wedding.

Think of another project to get your teeth stuck into once the big day is done. Preparing for a wedding is a huge project. I knew nothing about how to plan for one so most of my time was poured into researching what I needed to consider, who I needed to contact and when. It is a massive learning curve and takes up lots of energy. So, it is vital that the energy created is transferred to the next big thing. It can be anything from learning a new language to making a business plan. Be creative. It needs to be something that excites you as much as the wedding day did when you got engaged.

Take care of yourself during this time and make sure you are aware of these issues if you have people around you going through this process. Be sensitive to their needs and help them/yourself begin your marriage with a positive mental attitude.

Being married is amazing, lets keep it that way!

My new favourite feel good song

You know the kind; you can't help but smile when you hear it.  Your toes tap, your mood lightens, it just speaks to you on a really happy level.  

Mine is Paulo Nutini's 'Pencil Full of Lead'.  I love his work anyway.  I love his voice and I love the fact he is so young yet so talented.   But the words are wonderful and the sound just makes me a bit giddy.

Give it a listen.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC_3FvA5x58

I hope you feel a little jollier.  :)

Blog of the week

Have a peek at www.thinkbuddha.org  which was recently in Psychologies magazine.  There are some wonderful pieces of writings, thoughts and observations.  

Enjoy

Act how you want to feel

Now that the sun is shining, more of us are waking up to the suns rays with a smile on our face.  Vitamin D obviously effects the way we feel.  But what about those mornings you wake up and just aren't 'up for it'.  We've all had them. 

 There has been research which shows that we can trick our brain into different emotions using our bodies.  If we act angry/sad/excited using appropriate body language and facial expressions, we re-ignite this emotion and begin feeling it mentally too. 

 Try it for yourself.  When bored on a bus - smile.  When your feeling low and body conscious, sit up straight with your head high.  When you are sad, think of a pleasant memory.  Use anything you can to change your mood for the better.  Really notice what is around you.

I've just been passed by a giant teacup!  I know it is for a party for children as my husband is working at it today.  I'm presuming it was a ride of some sort.  So, I could quite have easily dismissed it and continued with my day. I had just missed two buses standing at the bus stop with my head down writing ideas for this blog so I could have been angry with myself for the rest of the day. However, I chose to let myself giggle about the whole affair as it was quite ridiculous.  I'm now still smiling about it as I write.  

Slow it down

I have always advocated taking things easier and slower. This way, not only are we able to enjoy all the pleasures of life as they happen but we tend to get more done in the long run anyway.

I discovered this when I was undertaking my own coaching journey over a year ago. At the beginning of the process I was running around feeling overworked, under appreciated and stressed. I pride myself with the ability to multi task. However, I was trying to achieve many things all at once without actually following through with many of them. On a fortnightly basis, I was to think of creative actions to help me destress and feel positive and excited about my future. It was important I kept my list to only a few actions otherwise I would feel anxious before I even began. And miraculously, each fortnight on checking in with my coach I had over achieved on every count. For each action, I had performed another two or three actions on the back of the original. I felt wonderful. I felt in control. I felt like I had much more time on my hands.

So, I was very pleased when I opened this months issue of Zest magazine and found that the editor's letter was just about this. They have also pointed me to the 'slow movement' which promotes a slower way of living.
Check out http://www.slowmovement.com/ and read the section on slow life.

Try it for yourself. Enjoy