The balance of Life

I am always surprised when clients come to me with 'loads of issue' needing resolved. On meeting them there is a real sense of panic and low mood.

On giving them 'the wheel of life' to look at and discuss with me (this sections off all areas of their life) they very quickly realise that whilst there are a few areas needing care and attention, there are also some areas that need none. These are the areas of positivity yet very few clients think about this prior to coaching. The reason being, that these areas need little or no thought as they are working nicely already; so no or little thought is given to them. However, this can create this feeling of doom and gloom as they are only thinking of the areas needing looked at. It can seem like life in general is bad. On closer observation, it is rarely the case and clients often feel uplifted on this realisation.

So, the next time you think everything is terrible in your 'life', consider the whole of your life and note the good stuff too as there is bound to be at least a couple of things working out for you already. And the other stuff can be worked on.

Anything is possible

Another fine example of people doing the unthinkable just because of the thrill...



I love this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o

The thing about relationships....

I have a very good friend who was round a week or so ago for a catch up. Little wine was involved, yet somehow we managed to dip into some deep philosophical conversation about life and relationships.

I was discussing a chapter in a book I am reading about not expecting things to last. I know this sounds negative but I believe it is quite the contrary. You are not expecting it NOT to last. You simply have no expectations at all. This way if it doesn't, you are not disappointed. If it does, fantastic! You stop living your life in fear of things coming to an end and can enjoy things for what they are in that given moment.

My friend began then to talk about this being applied to relationships. She rather beautifully (I wish I could remember exact words) said that she does not need her current relationship to work. This may sound startling but keep with me. She knows that should it come to an end, she will be able to cope with the situation. Its not that she NEEDS to be in the relationship (this becomes too controlling) but she WANTS to be in it. Thus making each day count, making every moment special and truly appreciating one another. It is being in this very relationship that gives her strength to be her own person and cope in the event of it ending. And ironically, it is this kind of insight that is likely to keep them together 'forever'.

A brief comparison with her previous relationship pinpointed the fatal flaws. She had stopped WANTING to be in the relationship a long time before it ended but the relationship had zapped her of the strength to know it would be okay to be on her own. She felt she NEEDED to remain as a couple.

So, lets always appreciate what we have at that moment in time and not project too much emphasis on the future and how long things will last. This should make for happier people. :)

Find perspective, find a hero.

I have been enjoying Sue Jeffers book 'Embracing Uncertainty'. There are bits I don't agree with but the majority of her writing really hits a chord with me.

I have just read a chapter about finding heros. The thinking being that we can continue to be inspired by others around us. We can feed off their strength through tragic situations. We can gain some sense of perspective on our own lives and worries. Finding heros can help uplift us and help us feel anything is possible.

So, I thought about finding my own hero. I remember my dad reading out a story from the local newspaper about a woman who was paralysed after a rock climbing accident. Her life pre-accident was one of adventure. She made (through great strength) her life after even more exciting/challenging/inspiring than anyone can ever imagine.

http://www.karendarke.com/
http://www.jolttrust.org.uk/inspirational_people.shtml

I hope this has inspired you to find your own hero.

New Blog website

I am excited to announce the new layout for my blog! I have been getting continually frustrated with my old one. I never really liked the look of it. This one fits better with my website www.lustforlifecoaching.com
I have transferred all old posts onto this one incase you have missed a couple. This is why there is a long list of posts on the same date.
Hope you continue to enjoy. Feel free to follow/comment.