I have no problem with people letting off steam and having a 'moan' or getting things off their chest. In fact, I would positively encourage it. This is called 'wallowing' in the Shut Up and Move On book - which I would recommend. There is credibility in the statement 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. I often allow my husband to come home from a long day of studying or a night shift at work and talk at me for ten minutes without a breath. I say talk 'at' me rather purposefully. I do not intervene. I do not suggest solutions to the issues he is in need of discussing. I do not 'side' with him and to be honest, I do not even always listen intently. The listening in this instance is not always important. The 'getting it out in the open and making sense of it in my head' is. However, in order to not stay in that place for too long, a time limit should be placed on the wallowing activity. My husband will stop himself after a short fueled stint, sigh and say something like 'sorry, I just needed to unload'.
I would try and follow this 'rant' up with a question such as 'So, tell me one thing that was good about today?'. This then leads onto a conversation which takes a much more positive slant and clears any negativity lurking in the air.
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