Changing vocabulary

I recently met up with a good friend of mine. We don't meet up often but when we do we pick up where we left off. Its never awkward. Neither of us feel bad about being 'bad' friends and being terrible at keeping in touch. As far as we are concerned, we do keep in touch. Just not very regularly. We say what needs to be said and part company not knowing when we're next going to see each other. We make no pretense that it will be soon. I would never call him up for a long heart felt chat. Neither would I email him my news. Yet I know we will probably keep seeing each other sporadically for years. Possibly longer than some other friends because of the way we conduct our relationship. I never feel guilty about the length of time it has been since our last meeting. It is an easy friendship to sustain.

We all have friends that serve different purposes. This is important. I have people I would call in a crisis and people I will get in touch with if I need a bit of mad fun. I have the people I go to the pub with and those I meet in cafes. I have people to 'get deep' with and those who I really don't know at all but I can escape with nonsense chat about cartoons. None of them mean any more or less to me. They are all important.

However, I can catch myself saying things like 'I must get in touch with....' and 'I have to go meet...'. I discussed this with my friend recently and he gets agitated when he hears people say this. 'You don't HAVE to do anything' was his reply. He was right. I am making a conscious effort to change the words I use. How much more positive is it to say 'I can't wait to speak to....' and 'I want to meet....' If I do find myself saying I HAVE to meet someone then I will look at the situation and decide what the negative thoughts are around this and deal with them either on my own or with the person in question.

Its like Christmas. I often hear people say 'I have to....' I went away this Christmas on holiday. It was great. I got some well deserved rest and a suntan. I felt nervous telling our families what our plans were but was surprised at the reaction. 'Good for you...' from my parents 'you've inspired us to go next year' from the parents in law. We broke the cycle of 'must do's' and created the idea of 'I want...' If we all do this, we will begin to live the life we truly want rather than the one we 'should be' living.