Preparing for retirement?

They say that the 'only constant is change'. In life, we are definitely geared up for it. There are certain times in our life that we know, from a young age, that change will take place.

Take the transition from Primary to Secondary School. Not only are we warned by teachers and older brothers and sisters what will happen in the 'big school' but children are now given 2 whole days out of Primary School to go and experience it themselves, before they 'actually' move. They get to pretend, explore, meet teachers, find the canteen and get lost. So that when it comes to the first day of the new term after Summer, they feel prepared. Ready even.

What about leaving school? We know that we are going to have to make a decision that will impact our lives for a number of years. Throughout our school years we are advised that how we perform will make a difference. We are given careers advise to help steer us onto our chosen path. We are given prospectuses from Colleges and Universtities to study. In the hope that, when it is time – we are ready.

Having worked for a few years of our life, we may then decide to buy a house. So, we sit down with our bank manager or financial adviser and discuss money earned against outgoings. From this we learn how much we can afford and start our hunt for our first home. We spend a number of weeks looking and once we have made a decision we make an offer. Even once this is accepted, there is usually an 8 week period in which the solicitors have time to prepare the papers and we have time to buy furniture, think about colour schemes, generally get ready.

If you choose to bring children into the world, you may or may not prepare for this beforehand. If you do, you will most likely look at money, where you live, nearby schools, begin taking folic acid and cut out smoking and heavy drinking. But even if pregnancy comes as a surprise, Mother Nature still gives you 9 months to get your head round the idea and be ready for the arrival of your child.

What I can't understand is why these approaches aren't used for retirement, which is possibly one of the biggest changes in someone's life. Is it because we 'don't have time' and we plan to deal with it when its upon us. Or is it because we don't want to presume we will still be around for it? It seems odd because all we do throughout our working life is talk about what we will do and what it will be like when we retire. The problem is that we are not focussed on making plans and setting ourselves guidelines and goals for when it happens. Its more throw away comments we are making in general conversation that we are never going to remember when we reach 60/65. There should be more help for the retiring or retired.

Through research I have discovered that there are indeed classes offered but it would seem heavily focussed on the money side of things, pensions, savings etc. Although I appreciate this is important, surely we have worried about this all our lives and retirement is a time to relax. Shouldn't we be more focussed on our new identity? Looking at what purpose we have in life, what we are going to wear for the rest of our days and how we are going to fill our time?

As a life coach, I can see huge benefits in coaching clients who are reaching retirement age or those who are already retired. Life coaching is all about looking at who we are at that moment in time (as this changes throughout ones life) and setting realistic goals for what we want to achieve in the coming months. Each session we will discuss any arising concerns and action plan how to combat them. By the end of the course, clients should feel confident and excited about their future and will have already implemented positive changes.

One client came to me a year into her retirement. She had never heard of a life coach and had no idea what to expect. Her daughter had suggested it and she was that fed up with her new found 'freedom' she was ready to try anything. She (like most of us) had worked all her life and had expected retirement to be wonderful, relaxing and filled with hobbies and new found friends. Unfortunately, what she found was quite the opposite. She didn't know what to do with her time as she had never found much time for hobbies in her working life. She didn't want to join over 60's clubs because she felt too young. This had left her feeling lonely and worthless. After only a couple of sessions with her, she had expressed and interest in a number of activities she did many years ago. She also had a burning desire to learn something, get a qualification, as she had taken very little from her school years. By the third session, she had signed up to a number of classes, learning various skills and she had made a couple of new friends. It transpired that due to her being on her own (many of us may find this) her confidence levels were at an all time low. The prospect of trying out new things by herself was daunting but continuing as she was, was not an option. By looking at what would be if she simply stayed at home willing each day to end, was enough to push her into this new territory. Her confidence was boosted so much she ended up joining a local drama group! She also found the courage to discuss her issues around money. Her husband had always had conrol of their finances and now she was left fretting over how to deal them. She had burried her head in the sand for so long that her spending was out of conrol and she was too afraid to confront it. Together we worked on a number of strategies she felt able to deal with and eventually she felt empowered enough to take charge. By the end of the sessions she was heavily involved in a number of classes , activities and training schemes. She felt confident and excited by her future and had booked a holiday with a friend for the first time in her life.

She left me saying 'I feel so selfish but its great. This is my time and I don't want to waste a second of it.'